As the holidays approach I just want to drop a small note of Love to those who have a hard time during the holidays without their loved ones.  I am no expert on this just gained a little unwanted experience. Who knows even though in a million years I would not have asked for this, it may help someone, somewhere. 

    The first couple of holidays are the worst. For me it was a instant feeling of sadness that would overcome me whenever holidays approached. And even though I tried hard not to go there for the sake of my kids, it was nothing I could control. It never gets easy. You will always have a abnormal feeling celebrating knowing someone is missing. You will find yourself forcing a smile just to not make others uncomfortable or sad. Its okay. I had to tell myself over and over agian, its okay how you feel. Whoever doesnt understand and have a little empathy for you is not someone you want around anyway.

     My favorite holiday song is "This Christmas" (no matter who sings it), it makes my heart smile and cry at the same time. I would suggest you find a song that speaks to you. A song that makes your heart cry and smile at the same time. A song that forces you to smile through your tears. A song that makes you fell all soft inside and remember good times only. This will allow you to get through the holidays with a little ease, not completely but a little.

     Before your house become filled with other loved ones that will overwhelm you even more, find a quiet spot and sit and just enjoy your moment with your memories. I loved and still love taking pictures so that is my safe space. I grab every photo I have with Monkey on it, close my door and look at his photos. I challenge myself to remember what was happening at the exact time each photo was taken. Even though it makes me sad I appreciate the moments I was lucky enough to capture. We all know the mind forgets but a picture will remind you lol. 

     Enjoy your holidays, kiss and hug the loved ones that are still here, laugh and cry with them, share funny stories, embrace your support system. Remember every tear you drop is not always for sadness. I even cry to tell Monkey "thank you for choosing me". It hurt but feels so good. 

 

   "Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind

                                                   The goal is to find it" -Buddha

PEACE........LOVE.......BLESSINGS......